The Happiest Place On Earth
by melissamarie173
Summary: They Cullens continue their road trip after they leave the mall. They need a place to stay, at least for a little while. They come to a place and wreak their vampire havoc! Bella still isn't a vamp. Sequel to Anything is Possible at the Mall. FUNNY
1. Chapter 1

**Hey Guys! **

**This is the sequel to ****Anything is Possible in the Mall****. I hope you guys like it. This chapter is really short, but I promise the others will be longer (well, most of the chapters).**

**Review when you're done. Constructive Criticism is welcome!**

**For future notice, it probably won't get funny until the dares start to happen. :)**

**This is for sistergrimm2, who is awesome on so many levels! **

**Happy Cristmakwanzahanukah! This is my gift to you!**

**APOV

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"EMMETT! YOU NEED TO GET RID OF THIS THING AND BUY A BIGGER ONE! WE ARE ALL CRAMPED IN HERE!" Rosalie's head was leaning against the window, well; it was kind of forced against the window.

"Rose, babe, I'm sorry, but usually it's only the two of us in here! And normally we don't have Alice, who has to stop and buy a truckload at EVERY STINKIN MALL WE PASS!" My brother glared at me. So what, I made a few purchases…what's it to him? I mean, it's not my fault Bloomingdale's had a sale, and they just happened to have Bella's and my and Rose's and Esme's and Carlisle's size in everything.

Rose was no where near done complaining "Well, maybe if JASPER would quit stopping at the malls, or the HILBILLY ROADSIDE FRUIT STANDS than we would be a few shopping bags and twelve dozen melons short!"

"GUYS, don't drag me into this! Alice was the one who was shopping obsseviely and compulsivly" Jasper looked back from the driver's seat to find a very aggravated Emmett, an oddly serene Carlisle and Esme, Bella extremely close to passing out on Edward's lap from lack of sleep, and me, smiling and hyper as always.

Bella finally went to sleep. I am surprised she made it this far, I mean, don't humans need at least 8 hours of sleep each day? She'd be lucky if she got that this past week. I could tell that her whole 'i-haven't-slept-in-days-so-i-am-ridiculously-loopy' thing, was tearing Edward to pieces (figuratively of course, we all know that he would freakily put himself back together again if she really did. _Creepy moving disembodied parts…_)

"Guys, she's finally asleep, can we at least get her into a hotel or something? I mean, she deserves a bed?"

"I personally think she deserves the middle of a busy intersection"

"ROSALIE!!!!!"

"Sorry Eddie-poo"

"But really, a hotel, please? We have been on the road for days! A little permanence wouldn't hurt."

"Eddie's right, we should get Bella a… YAY!"

"Alice, what did you see?" I shook my head and closed my mouth. "Don't try to tell me that you didn't see anything, if you didn't than you wouldn't be singing 'The Best of Both Worlds' in your head _really loudly!_"

"Fine, I saw us take the exit HERE!" I ran up to my husband, and turned the steering wheel a full 180 degrees, and just made the exit we had to take.

"ALICE! Are you crazy?! You could have killed us!" Rosalie smirked at Edward's words.

"No, _we_ would live. She would only kill Bella…not that I would complain…"

"Rosalie I'm going to-"

Edward didn't get to finish the threat, we pulled up to a huge colorful gate with nine flags and a huge cartoon mouse on it.

"Alice, you wanted to get Bella... a hotel room... in…in, Disney?"

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**So , what do ya think? Reviews please!**

**I need to know…do you think they should stay in Disney? Or should they leave for some where else? Review with suggestions!**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is still the sequel to ****Anything is Possible in the Mall****, and I still don't own the Twilight series, and I am still depressed over the latter.**

**This is for Mrs. Edward Anthony Mas Cullen, who came up with the idea to send them to Disney. I forgot to give her credit for her stroke of brilliance, so here's to her!**

**OhMyCarlisle! 19 reviews for the first chapter! Holy baloney! You guys rock! I am in shock! Really, my mouth is open and I am having a little difficulty closing it.

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"_Alice, you wanted to get Bella a hotel room in…in, Disney?"_

**APOV**

"Guys, come on, we haven't been here since the sixties! How cool do you think Bella will feel when she wakes up in the freaking happiest place on earth? Huh? Huh?" I was hyper talking and raised my eyebrows repeatedly at the last part. Edward was a tad creeped out, but agreed nonetheless.

Carlisle looked around nervously "I guess…this could be fun…ish"

"GAWD CARLI! FUN- _ISH? _Really, we are in D-I-S-N-E-Y W-O-R-L-D! How much better can it get?" Emmett was obviously taking my fathers words to heart. We all grabbed some of the abundance in the car (hoping it fit us) and headed off to check in. I decided the Polynesian Resort would be best. Who doesn't love beaches and palm trees?

We walked in to find a huge fountain in the middle. Off to one side was a long counter-like desk with people behind it, checking other guests in. I walked over; gesturing my family to stay put. Rosalie looked a tiny bit angry with me making her stay, but obeyed anyway.

Hmm, if she obeys that command, I wonder what else I can make her do? Hmm, so many things on just that one ride. _Space Mountain here we come…_

Anyway, I walked over to the counter, and the cashier/check in dude went wide-eyed and stiff. He spoke in little clips & was really annoying.

"Yes- Miss-. Right- Away- Miss-" I looked at his name tag

"Uh…Chuck? Are you okay? I mean, you have some sort of disorder or anything right? Is there a reason why you are twitching like that? I don't think that's a normal position for you arm to be in…" I was starting to get worried, he wasn't like this to the other people, was he?

He shook his head vigorously, like some bad comedy movie, the returned to normal, "Sorry. Did you make a reservation Miss?"

"A reservation? Oh…Dang…I'm sorry. I must have forgotten, do you think you could help me out…please?" I used my sweet, flirty voice. I winked to top it off. I heard Jazz growl behind me, but he will have to deal with it.

"Uhm, of course. I can help you with _anything, anytime"_ Eww, Chuck was a bad flirter. I wonder what Jasper has planned for his death, I mean, uhm…well lets face it. This dude was not going to live very long if he keeps trying to hit on me.

"Uhh, what's the biggest room you have? And whatever it is, can we have it?" Chuck nodded and winked. I think I might gag. Carl was smoother than this freak. Heck, Gertrude was smoother than this freak. "Fine, uhm, can we have the room key?" He nodded again, and I 'handed' him my credit card. Okay, that's a lie. I kind of threw it at him, but the gash under his eye will heal sooner or later.

He held in his hand the room key, as he led us up four flights of stairs. He tried to carry all our bags at once (obviously trying to impress us) but ended up falling down two flights in the process. Emmett and Edward ended up bringing our luggage.

Chuck was trying to open the door to our suite, but was not really succeeding. Really, who needs 15 minutes to open a door? Not Chuck, it takes him longer!

"You know what Chuck, why don't I take it from here?" Chuck turned around from the door, red in the face and out of breath.

"Yah, sure, here's the key" He regained his breath and started to hand me the key. I went to go grab it, when he grabbed my hand. He started to kiss my hand, repeatedly. Bella started laughing hysterically.

"EWWWW! Geek slobber! Alice we are going to have to sterilize your hand!" Okay, Bella better get some sleep, because no one says Geek Slobber of they are thinking clearly. This guy was s till kissing my hand, and I was really surprised Jasper hasn't torn his head off yet.

"Uhm, excuse me…CHUCK! GETT YOUR SLIMY MOUTH OFF ME BEFORE I GET MY _HUSBAND _TO REMOVE YOU FOR ME!" HIS EYES WIDENED

"Husband? Oh, well, then…uhm, I gotta go!" He took of like a bat out of hell. And hopefully that would be the last we see of chuck. Eww, I might really need to sanitize my hand. Yah, stick my hand in a pot of boiling water, I'd be fine.

"OOOO! Alice has got an admirer!"

"Shut up Emmett!" Well, Emmett didn't shut up, in fact he went on to sing 'secret lovers' over and over again at the top of his lungs until Jasper went and beat the vampire crap out of him.

"So what do we do no- zzzzzzzzzzzzz" Bella fell asleep as soon as she sat on the bed. She started snoring...wait, Edward never she snored.

"She doesn't…that's what worries me" Okay, that's awkward. But now it got even more awkward, she started to do her infamous sleep talking!

"Oh, Eddie, lets go…and…buy…some…melons" Okay, she was talking like a drunk stripper. Now I know what happens to humans if you deprive them of sleep. They go loony and start to talk about melons…I think we may need to dispose of the ones in the car…

"Eddie, where are my melons? I need my melons!" Bella grabbed a throw pillow next to her and started to hug it dearly singing "Melons, Melons, everywhere, Melons, melons, they're not pears!"

"Edward, your girlfriends lost it, I think we may need to call a shrink."

"Well, sorry, but Bella is sleep deprived and is … okay, I don't really know what she is doing, but I am sure she is just, uhm...she's just resting?" I couldn't help but laugh at Edward, this was just too funny!

"Well, what are we going to do in the mean time? I mean, she probably won't wake up until…well its about three right now…and" I saw her waking up at "She wont get up until eight tomorrow. What are we going to do"

Emmett looked like he was trying t figure out a really hard math problem, which wouldn't really be happening because half the time Emmett didn't understand addition. For a guy who has excelled medical school at least twice, he was pretty stupid sometimes.**(no offense to Emmett of course, but someone has to be the stupid one. Sadly it is usually me…)**

Esme looked a little bored. " Guys, settle down, why don't we wait to do stuff until tomorrow?"

"Yah, I'm getting a little tired. AHHHHHH" **(I tired to make a yawning noise so bear with me please!)**

"Emmett! Give it up! We all know you cant be tired!"

"Yah, but I sure can try!"

"Uhh, tomorrow's going to be a rough day…"

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**Review please! I would like to know what you think!**

**Another short-is one, sorry. It will hopefully get longer!**

**Sorry if this isn't exactly what Disney is like. I haven't been there since I was seven, so give me a break, please ;) **

**Just so you know, they are in the Florida Disney, not the California one.**


	3. Chapter 3

**This is still the sequel to ****Anything is Possible in the Mall****, and I still don't own the Twilight series, and I am still depressed over the latter.**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ROXANNE FLORENCE! She caught a typo in my title; I forgot the r in Earth. THANKS AGAIN!**

**Also, the number of reveiws I got was a tin y bit of a let down after the first chapter. I still got tons, but, well, just keep reveiwing!

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"_Uhh, tomorrow's going to be a rough day…"_

**APOV**

I was sitting on the bed waiting for…

"Finally! SHE'S AWAKE! NOW CAN WE GET A MOVE ON?" I called to nowhere in piticular…I know they will hear me anyway.

"Alice, where is everyone?"

"Well, Eddie-poo went to go buy you some breakfast…Emmett wanted to go buy some food as well, Rose went because Emmett was going, Jasper left with them because the 'couldn't miss out on the fun' and Carlisle and Esme had to supervise"

"What would Emmett need food for? It's not like he can eat it."

"The 'smell relaxes him'."

"So basically you got stuck with the baby-sitter job?"

"Yah, pretty much."

"Soo, what are we going to do today?"

"You'll see…"

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"Alice, how did you plan this?" 

"Plan what?"

"For us to get passes, a suite, and for it to be cloudy-ish?"

"Well…I called Chuck for some favors…"

"AWESOME! Chuck can control the weather! Do you think he can help me wit-"

"No Emmett, Chuck can't control the weather, that part was just luck."

"Oh...uhh, yah, right…"

We walked out of the monorail we were riding on. Emmett was a little sad because that was his favorite ride. It was, an I quote: 'exhilarating and fun and makes me tingle EVERYTIME!' end quote.

"So, this is…Disney".

"Yah Bells, this is Disney. Where should we go first? I would personally prefer anywhere with shops, but I guess you can buy stuff at restaurants too, and what about the gift shops in everywhere I mean WOAH! Lets-" I didn't get to finish my rant because a hand covered my mouth.

"Alice, please shut up honey. We all know you want to go shopping, we can do that later, when the sun comes out"

I started to whine like a child, while Emmett started to sing "The sun will come out tomorrow" from the play _Annie_.

"God Emmie! Will you not sing for once? I mean, it was enough when you sang Secret Lovers! And it was more than enough when you sang Sexy Back on the monorail ride here."

"Sorry, its not my fault that you guys are jealous of my bee-oo-ti-full voice!"

"Emmett, we are not jealous. In fact we are grateful, ever so grateful, that we don't have that voice."

"Keep telling yourself that Jazz, keep telling yourself that"

"Will you two stop bickering! You don't know how annoying that is! It gets on my nerv- why are you laughing?"

"Eddie, you said bickering again!"

He murmured darkly "Immature idiots!"

I couldn't take it anymore: "Seriously, guys…GUYS! PAY ATTENTION! This is Bella's first time to Disney, we have to make it memorable"

"Actually Alice, this is my sec-"

"Shut up Bella! This is your first time here and you know it!"

"Okay, whatever you say Ice Queen Alice"

" I shall pretend I didn't here that, but anyway, so what should we do?"

Everyone looked deep in thought, except Emmett who looked a little constipated. _Eddie-poop! Don't laugh! Emmett will know we are talking about him!_

Carlisle was the first to speak "How about we finish that game we were playing at the mall…what was it called? Daring the Truth or what not?"

"Carlisle, we all know, especially I" Edward tapped his temple for effect. Emmett decided to join in and he 'accidentally' tapped to hard. And he 'accidentally' missed Edward's temple and got him in the eye. "Oww, anyway, we all know you know the name! You wouldn't shut up about it on the drive here!"

Carlisle smiled sheepishly "Fine, you caught me, but really, how would it sound if Carlisle Cullen: Head Doctor, Family Man, Devoted Father, Good Samaritan, Amazing Chef, Great Disc-"

"Dad, stop flattering yourself, you are not a family man, you would rather work extra hours! YOU WOULD RATHER COOK FOR THE NEEDY THAN HANG WITH US!"

"Geesh Rose, I am offended! Why didn't you just stop my heartbeat?!"

"God, Carli, your heart doesn't beat anyway."

"It's a figure of speech."

"From where, Antarctica?"

"NO, from…from…" Carlisle looked around, then whispered to me "Alice, give me a place Rosalie hasn't been."

I whispered back " Boston"

"It's a figure of speech from Boston!"

"Dad, give it up. I have been to Boston and they don't say that."

He turned to me and glared. "Allllice!"

"Sorry Daddy, I couldn't resist!"

Esme was fed up, she was shaking and rolling her eyes. Well she was before she shrieked "GUYS, GET YOUR ACTS TOGETHER, AND LETS DO SOMETHING OTHER THAN FIGHT!"

"But, but".

"YOU TOO CARLISLE CULLEN! NO BACK TALK!"

"Yes, Mom" a Chorus of this phrase erupted from all of us. Well, almost all of us, Bella was gasping for air and rolling around on the ground. Who knew humans could laugh themselves into a fit?

Emmett ended up pouring water on her face, or he wanted to. He didn't feel like running to get some water, so he decided to repeatedly spit on her instead. **( I know that technically he would spit venom, but lets just forget this fact for now. Thanks sistergrimm2 ;) )**Long story short, she is up and plans to never laugh herself into a fit unless she is wearing protective clothing.

"Can we please move on? Who should start the game?"

"Why don't you start Jasper?"

"Fine, uhm, Rosalie…Truth or Dare?'

"You better dare me to fix this monstrosity of a mess I have to call hair."

"Actually Rose, I had something else in mind…"

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**Review please! I would like to know what you think!**

**Okay, uhm, I don't know what happened to this chapter. It was nice in my mind…but it kinda sucked written out.**

**Oh Well. I hoped you liked it.**

**Review with ideas for dearest Rosalie!**

**There is a poll in my profile that i would really like you to take. Be completely honest.**


	4. I AM SOOO SORRY, PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!

**I AM SO SORRY! REALLY, NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE HOW TERRIBLY SORRY I AM!**

**Okay, now the explaining time: I got myself grounded, sorta. Well, actually, I got myself shunned by my mom, and grounded. I don't talk to her enough so apparently I am "using her" and she is tired of "picking up my messes" so I "have to pay my dues" by taking care of my brothers. **

**I haven't been able to go on the computer all week, never mind write anything. But my time hasn't been completely wasted! I have thought up some new funny ideas, or, well, I think they are pretty funny. So after I post this I am off to writing my next chapter, because I am pretty sure you will hate me if I don't get one up soon.**

**So basically, I can't go on every day like I used to. (This is a very depressing thought to me) I will still try to update as soon as I can though, but it may be a little longer than normal. My mom doesn't seem like she is going to come to her senses, considering I didn't do anything, so I don't know when I will have a regular schedule again. I am so very sorry.**

**Why am I on now you may ask? I am kinda sneaking on so I can check my mail and attempt to write something. So that is what I will try to do.**

**Again I am terribly sorry. Thanks to all who have reviewed, story alerts, and things like that. Also, thanks to those who have taken my poll. It is nice to know what you think.**

**melissa**

**(again, very sorry)**

**PS there is this great site, called Go to it please! Help the hungry people! It gives food to the hungry people of the world. Really, with your free time that would be spent looking at bad fanfictions (I am not naming other peoples, or mine but there are some pretty bad ones out there) you could be helping solve world hunger. Please !**


	5. Chapter

**This is still the sequel to ****Anything is Possible in the Mall****, and I still don't own the Twilight series, and I am still depressed over the latter. Sorry in advance for any mistakes in grammar, spelling, and everything else. I am under some pressure here...**

"_Actually Rose, I had something else in mind…"_

**APOV**

"And what did you have in mind, _Jazzy_?" She shot my husband death glares, really; DAGGERS!

"Well, first off, it will help your hair…situation, sort of. I don't think anything could fix that hair, I am sorry, but would you rather me lie? You know lying is bad"

"Now that you are done playing Dr. Phil, can you give me a dare before I combust?"

"Don't be so hasty Rosalie, if I wanted to be Dr. Phil I would go all out and buy the balding wig and the cheesy mustache!"

"Just hurry it up already!"

"Fine, uhm, Rosalie, You know where the sword in the stone is, right."

"That stupid stick jutting out of the pebble?"

"Yes Rosy, 'the stupid stick jutting out of the pebble'. I dare you to remove it from the rock, then go around and try to get someone to dub you King Arthur. But you have to be dressed as a medieval lad."

"Lad?"

"Yes, a lad, do you wanna be an old man?"

Everyone started to laugh, hard. Carlisle even let out a not so subtle "BURN!"

"JASPER WHITLOCK HALE CULLEN!"

"Again with the whisper-yelling…" Jazzy shook his head and rolled his eyes at the same time, causing a laugh from Emmett. Rosalie was not happy and whacked Emmie across the stomach, hard.

"Jasper, you are going to get it once I am done!"

"Nu-uh! NO DARES BACK!" He chuckled. Wait, he chuckled? YES! Finally someone in this family has a manly chuckle! And it isn't Rose this time!** (AN: Sorry I'm really mean. NOT!)**

"Fine, but I will not enjoy this!"

We slowly walked, to Emmett's glee, toward the monorail. Do you know what it smells like in there? It smells like cat pee. I am totally serious. Carlisle tried to tell me that it was 'cleaning supplies', but it was pretty obvious that the scrubbed this place down with a pissing cat.

We walked out, to Emmett's depression, he desperately needed the monorail. "I miss the tingle." Wow, Emmett, all I can say is wow.

Bella had me walk behind with her while we made our way to a shop, apparently selling costumes. I did NOT enjoy seeing the Tinker Bell costumes. And I positively hated having Emmett buy it for me, saying that Jasper will thank him later.

"Wow, Rose, I think this is a outfit you want to keep! I mean, the tights are so you! Not to mention the tunic shirt, and the leather belt, you are working that leather belt honey! And the hat with the feather is just to diiiiiiie for!"

"Carlisle, just admit it, it's a hideous outfit. No need for sucking up. And I highly doubt this is a figure of speech from where-the-heck-istan."

"Fine. What ever you say, I was just trying to make it better."

"Well it didn't work, I am still here in this hideous excuse for an outfit. The only good thing is this hat, it sorta hides my hair." She touched her head, and pouted. She had tried, but she couldn't find any dye to fix her hair. "Emmett! Stop staring at me like that! Can we just get in line, I want to get this over with as soon as possible."

We were going to walk over, when Bella held me back. "What the heck?"

"Calm down Bella, just watch. I pointed over to the line for the sword. A bunch of people were trying to prove their strength, or lack there of, and tried to remove the sword. Toward the middle of the line you could see Rosalie shaking back in forth holding herself tightly in here tights and funky shoes.. Emmett and Esme were trying to calm her down, and Edward, Jasper, and Carlisle were trying to contain their laughter. It wasn't working so they developed some sort of system. One of them would hide behind the other two, who would be acting like a human wall, to laugh his butt off, then they would switch. It looked kinda liked a badly choreographed music video….

"Oh, wow, that's uhm, not inconspicuous at all…yah." Bella was trying to keep a straight face; it wasn't working so well. She burst out laughing.

"Bella, calm it down, you don't want a repeat of what happened last time you laughed to hard." She immediately stopped giggling and walked slowly over to Edward, obviously not wanting to get spit on again.

Rose was nearing the front of the line. We all new she would be able to remove the sword, even though the body builders and brick layers and ditch diggers couldn't.

She finally got up to the front, and got laughs and whistles from the crowd. One guy even tried to grab her butt, but Emmett came and gave him a black eye, and Carlisle said he had the 'wrong grabbing technique'.

Emmett was sick of the whistles, so he went up to the front, and yelled "If any of you have a problem with my WIFE, than you will have to deal with me! Got that?"

One of the brave guys, an obvious body builder, cam forward. "Hey, I could take you!"

"Wanna bet?" Emmett stepped closer and towered at least five inches over this guy. They 'brave one' squealed like a scared piglet and ran. So much for bravery.

Rosalie went over and easily grabbed the sword. Everyone was in shock. "AH-HAH! I AM NOW RULER!" She ran over to a random guy, "Can you dub me king Arthur?" He didn't answer so she ran around, begging on her knees, while Edward and Jasper did that bad choreographed laughing thing,

She was in the middle of a circular mob when out of no where, a man dressed a bright tangerine-orange jumpsuit and an electric blue cape with the letters OM on his chest, runs into the middle.

"Have no fear! Obnoxious Man is here! How Can I 'elp you ma'am?" He said the last part in a cheesy fake southern accent. It was pretty clear he had a Boston accent. He lifted his right hand into a fist above his head, and had his left on his hip, like a cliché super hero.

Rosalie looked annoyed and creeped out. "Alice, why didn't you tell me this?" Let me tell you, whisper-yelling at vampspeed isn't any better than normal whisper-yelling.

"Uhm, Obnoxious Man? What the heck are you doing?"

"Obnoxious Man is here to save you!"

"From what? I don't think I need to be saved…yuppie, I don't."

"Yes you do, you need to be saved from…uhm, saved from this…sword!" He grabbed the sword from Rosalie's hand and started attacking her with it.

"SEE! It's violent! You need saving! This sword could cause some serious damage! Obnoxious man has to save the pretty damsel in distress!"

"Dude! Dudedudedude! Stop it! Put the sword down!" Rosalie grabbed the sword from him, and gave him a 'now-young-man-stop-what-you-are-doing-before-I-have-to-get-fiesty' look. He cringed like a child. "And why do you talk in third person, its really creepy"

"Obnoxious Man doesn't know what the pretty damsel is talking about!" He got on one knee and stared at Rose, looking like he was going to propose, but instead. "Would thou pretty damsel, like Obnoxious Man to take her out sometime?"

She laughed, and his expression turned into a creepy 'I-am-going-to-stalk-you-till-the-day-I-die' way. Jasper was laughing hysterically behind Edward and Carlisle. He was 'not helping' the situation.

"Hey, can you take this sword and tap me on the shoulder and yell 'I dub you King Arthur'? Please, it's a dare that I kind of have to finish soon."

"Sure, whatever you say." This super-freak grabbed the sword. This was not a good idea considering he was girl drunk from Rosalie and all her glory. He picked up the sharp, dangerous object and, well being intoxicated like that, accidentally swung it around and whacked someone in the side. She screamed, and someone yelled to get paramedics. I personally think they shouldn't have cared. The deep bleeding gash will heal, right?

Obnoxious Man finally regained balance and slowly brought down the sword on a kneeling Rosalie's shoulder. "I Obnoxious Man, super hero god of all things obnoxious, dub thee, pretty damsel of all things pretty and damsely, King Arthur, King of All things Arthur-ish, because thou hast slain the accursed rock and removed the beloved and divine sword!"

"Uhm, yah, Obnoxious Man, yah thanks…EMMETT! REMOVE HIM!"

Emmett walked over and towered over the 'super hero', causing him to run from the sight of my brother.

Rosalie didn't look too happy when she strutted over to us. "You guys, that was torture. That kid is going to follow me around! I may need a restraining order!"

I couldn't help but laugh, this was too funny.

"How funny do you think it is Alice"

Oh Dang…I have done it now.

**Review please! I would like to know what you think!**

**Thanks to sistergrimm2 & my bestiest buddy Regan! Both of whom have helped a ton with this chapter.**

**Oh Well. I hoped you liked it. I personally think this chapter should be burned, but you can always prove me wrong!**

**Review. Please. Regan says I'm desperate? **

**PS: If you can take one guess as to Obnoxious Man's real identity, I would like to know who you think he is. If you guess right I will give a sneak peak of the next chapter. And not just a line or two, at least a few paragraphs. A pretty hefty chunk if you ask me**.

**Hint: I have mentioned him before, in ****Anything is Possible in the Mall****, and he has no clue that I was talking about him.**

**Have any dares for Emmett? ( I know that he isnt who is being dared)**


	6. Chapter 5

**This is still the sequel to ****Anything is Possible in the Mall****. Stephenie Meyer owns these awesome people; I just love to put them through childish games like Truth or Dare. Sorry in advance for any mistakes in grammar, spelling, and everything else. I am not perfect, or even remotely close, so please bear with me.**

**P.S. I am using a significant writing tool, you may know as chronic loopieness. It is usually a side effect of not sleeping for the past 36 or more hours, having lots of candy (so much the lady at the checkout counter gives you the 'wow-this-chick-is-crazy" look) and lots of soda! Let the loopieness feed the hilarity!**

_Oh Dang…I have done it now._

**APOV**

"What do I have to do Rose" I internally cringed, this wasn't going to end well.

"Well, Alice, I am not sure yet. Emmett, what should I make Alice do?" Emmett came over and whispered something so low in Rosalie's ear that no one could hear. Rosalie got a devilish grin on her face.  
"Hey, Alice, do you remember that brief stretch of time in the 60's."

My eyes widened. She wouldn't, would she? Jasper also figured out what she was talking about, it was a dark time for him.

"Rosalie, you...you wouldn't do that to Alice. That's cruel!"

"No Jasper, cruel was when I was kneeling before that freak, Annoying Lad or whatever his name was."

The others figured out what we were talking about, mostly because Edward told them. They were doing that laughing thing. They would make a wall, and then someone would go in the back to laugh like crazy. Well, they are going to rue that move once I'm done.

Bella was the only one who didn't know, and I am glad she did. That makes one less person to make fun of me. It was a bad choice! People make mistakes! "

"Well Alice" Ugh, Rose loved telling this story. She only did it to spite me. "You know that time, yah 1962, remember your gay streak?" Bella's mouth dropped open, and Emmett took it upon himself to slam it shut, harder than necessary. Next thing you hear WHACK! Followed by "OWW EDDIE! WHAT THE FUDGE"

"Yah Alice, go around promoting your gay pride."

"Rosalie Lillian Hale Cullen, you have got to be kidding me. I-I-I g-gave it up!"

"Sure you did Al, we can just come up with another explanation for Jasper about that night in Seattle."

"ALICE!"

"Jazz! I swear, it's not true! Rosalie just being a butt head!"

"But head? Real mature Alice. You still have to do it, you know. Do you think you can get a following to support the cause too?"

"Rose, I hate you with a burning passion."

"The feeling's mutual sis!" I walked around, gestured that I would be right back, than went into a nearby store, and searched for the uniform, they gays uniform, a white T-shirt. After that...well...I am so not coming to Disney with Rose ever again.

XXxXxXxXxXxOMCxXxXxXxXxXx

I had just got back from the copy machine. YES! I did find a copy machine to help with my 'quest'. I also found giant cardboard, and then I bought markers, to make a sign, like those people on the streets wear. I wrote in big letters on the sign "WE ARE NOT WEIRD! GAYS MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND!"

I passed out flyers with rainbows and funky pictures, and every so often I would spin around saying "GAYS MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND!"

I was doing just that when I bumped into a weirdly familiar old lady…

"GERTRUDE!" the old lady looked around…searching.

"Are you talking to me?" Her voice was…so familiar; it was starting to scare me. How could this not be Gertrude?

"Yah, I can't believe we found you, I thought you died or something at the mall!"

"Gertrude? You mean my mother?" Wait, this lady had to be at least eighty, that meant Gertrude was…oh wow.

"OH! Well, my name is Ali-"

"OH dearie! Aren't you just the cutest little thing?!" She went up in pinched my cheek, but I think she may have broken a hip in the process, because she shrieked after touching me. "Oww!" she rubbed her side and was searching in her dress for…a life alert necklace? She pressed the button and a really loud alarm went off, the kind that happens when prisoners escape or lock downs happen.

"Anything I can do before the gorgeous men in the white coats take me away dearie?"

"Uh yah! Can you yell you support gay people?"

"You're gay!"

"No-I'm NO-" I didn't have time to stop her, she …she threw herself at me. I…I think I may need to soak my face in hand sanitizer! Old ladies are NOT supposed to jump on people and start making out with them like that! Even if they are under the impression that they are gay!

She got hauled away by some unnaturally buff men in freakishly white coats trying to fight them to get back to me. It was really creepy. I may need years, no decades of therapy for this moment…

I turned to my 'family'. Family is a very loose term for people who live with you, but don't necessarily care for you if you are being lip molested by an old lady, or you are 'not talking enough….

"How funny do you find this Emmett?" All you could hear through the dead silence was an abnormally loud gulp.

**If you are gay, or no anyone who is, don't be offended! I don't mean to make fun of people**.

**Review please! I want to know if you agree that this piece of writing needs some help.**

**Just in case you care, Obnoxious Man was based on my interpretation of a good friend, David Manzo. Okay, he isn't that good of a friend, but this super hero fits him perfectly.**

**Okay, this one really sucked, and it was really short, but please review anyway**

**Dares for Jasper anyone?**


	7. Chapter 6

**This is still the sequel to ****Anything is Possible in the Mall****. Stephenie Meyer owns these awesome people; I just love to put them through childish games like Truth or Dare. Sorry in advance for any mistakes in grammar, spelling, and everything else. I am not perfect, or even remotely close, so please bear with me.**

**Don't hate me for another song-ish one…its not really that bad.**

**Thanks to minnymay! She has inspired me with all her freaky/funny words! And her amazing ideas that have seriously helped me sooooo much! Lysm amiga!**

**And to pirate-princess1 : thank you so much, it's always nice to get flames. Even though they aren't very nice, and can be downright nasty, it reminds me that there are people (probably lots) that don't like my story. But, may I request, that next time you have something negative (like agreeing with me that my writing needs help) can you make it sound a little more positive…can you try? Thanks again :**

"_How funny do you find this Emmett?" All you could hear through the dead silence was an abnormally loud gulp.._

**APOV**

Oh God, I just had my face molested by an elderly woman related to Gertrude…this could be worse, hopefully…

"Alice, I don't trust your recently elderly kissed face to let me live down this dare."

"That's okay Emmie, the ones you live down aren't as fun as the ones you don't."

"What shall I do Alice…And should I be afraid in advance?"

"Afraid, I don't know…but I know you have a secret talent that only I know about." His eyes widened, scared I would tell, then went back to normal.

"Other than my singing? I don't think I have other talents…" So he was going to play it off, huh? Well two can play at that game…

"Other talents…secrets, same thing…aren't the Emmie?" He swallowed hard, and started to play with the collar of his shirt.

"What do you mean Alice" Should I feel bad that I am about to get my brother like a sitting duck…. Nope, I don't really care!

"OH, the fact that you hate cars with a burning passion."

"ALICE I DO NO-"

"EMMETT McCARTY CULLEN, YOU…. YOU DON'T LIKE CARS?"

"No, Rose, Baby I-"

"So, all that time we spent together in the garage? It meant nothing to you? How could you…" She ran away, dry sobbing. Maybe that was a little harsh on my part…o well, that's what she gets when she wants to throw my favorite sister into a busy intersection…

"Mary. Alice. Brandon. Cullen. I am going to hate you for the next century and a half if you don't fix this while I am doing my dare." He glared at me. I guess I found his weak spot. He is always so happy, but if you mess with Rosalie (like Edward and me frequently, and I mean frequently, do) he gets really angry. "What do I have to do anyway?"

I contemplated him having to draw Rose, pretending to be some twisted charicature **(I cant spell, I know)** artist, knowing that he has a 'different' outlook on art and would not flatter Rosalie at all with his picture. Then there was his secret passion with spherical ice cream…I could reveal it…but then Emmett could get Rosalie to easily 'persuade' every store owner to not give me entrance…

I think I will go with the one he would 'enjoy' more.

"Emmie, remember that song you kept singing on the ride here?"

"You mean Toxic?"

"No-"

"Nobody's Perfect?"

"Nope, not that eithe-"

"Barbie Girl?"

"EMMETT! LET ME FINFISH!"

"Okay…geesh, little miss asylum forgot her meds this morning…"

"Emmett…"

"Sorry Allie"

"Uhh, I was talking about that_ other _song, you know the Shania Twain one?"

"Man I fell like a woman? You know I love that one…it seems to fit me so well, it's a little scary, I wonder if they wrote it for me…"

"NO! Emmett, the _other!_ Shania Twain song…"

"OOH! That one…what about it?"

"I need you too" I beckoned him over and whispered my plan in his ear. He obviously didn't like it, because he was about to scream, and grabbed everything in the nearest pedestrian's arms and threw it at the ground, with a little too much force.

"Alice, you are not very nice…you know that right?"

"Yah, I know…but that's why you love me!"

"Whatever Alice, just give me your phone so I can get this over with" I handed him the phone and he dialed

Ring…ring…ring…ring… "Hello, Polynesian front desk, Chuck Speaking"

"Uh, Chuck, there is an emergency in the magic kingdom, come quick!"

"May I ask who this is."

"Uhh" He shot a look at me that said he hadn't thought it through this far. "This is Walt Disney"

"Aren't you dead?"

"No, who told you those lies? I need to fire them immediately!"

"Uhm, it was Stu from the kitchen staff! I will be right there Mr. Disney!"

He flipped the phone closed and turned to Jasper Edward Bella, all of us trying to conceal our giggles and me. I mean, really, Walt Disney? Is that the best he could come up with? And why the heck would Chuck believe it? Walt Disney died in 1966 of lung cancer…

"Emmett, you better get ready for when Chuck comes."

"I am ready Alice."

"Nu-uh! I saw you with a blood read feather boa…I think it made the show a little nicer."

None of the others knew what we were talking about, so they just stared in amazement. Wouldn't you stare at a 6'5 body builder type guy who carried around a blood red feather boa?

"Fine Alice, where should I purchase said boa?"

"Just give that lady a hug" I pointed to a weirdly dressed lady (lime green terrycloth pants do NOT go with a puke yellow flower patterned shirt.) with the boa around her neck.

Emmett ran over and quickly hugged the lady, trying to rub her 'cooties' off as he ran back holding the boa. Just then, we saw Chuck pass through an archway…and spot me, then break out into a cheesy 'beach run' **(if you have never done one of those, you gotta try! They are so fun, like when you see a friends, just run in slow motion, like in a beach movie)** trying to get to me. I hid behind Emmett, hoping I would be spared.

"Alice! Alice! Alice?" Emmett closed his eyes, took a deep un-needed breath, the opened his, determined.

"Hey big boy…what's yah doin?" Emmett did a perfect rendition of Rosalie's 'aren't-I-hot-come-to-me-NOW' voice. It was a little scary that he could imitate her that well.

"Uhh, I- I- I-" Chuck stuttered at Emmie, like he did to me in the lobby…weird. Emmett then well…he burst…into…song…creepie.

_  
This is what a Emmett wants...  
Any man of mine better be proud of me  
Even when I'm ugly he still better love me  
And I can be late for a date that's fine  
But he better be on time _

Emmett was walking slow circles around chuck, who was oddly drooling. Every so often Emmett would kick out his leg like a drunk Rockette…

Any man of mine'll say it fits just right  
When last year's dress is just a little too tight  
And anything I do or say better be okay  
When I have a bad hair day

And if I change my mind  
A million times  
I wanna hear him say  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I like it that way

Any man of mine better walk the line  
Better show me a teasin' squeezin' pleasin' kinda time  
I need a man who knows, how the story goes  
He's gotta be a heartbeatin' fine treatin'  
Breathtakin' earthquakin' kind  
Any man of mine 

Emmett walked up behind Chuck, and wrapped the boa around him, then slowly took it off, while Chuck's knees started to tremble, and he looked paler than we did.

Well any man of mine better disagree  
When I say another woman's lookin' better than me  
And when I cook him dinner and I burn it black  
He better say, mmmm, I like it like that yeah

And if I changed my mind  
A million times  
I wanna hear him say  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I like it that way

Any man of mine better walk the line  
Better show me a teasin' squeezin' pleasin' kinda time  
I need a man who knows, how the story goes  
He's gotta be a heartbeatin' fine treatin'  
Breathtakin' earthquakin' kind  
Any man of mine  


Emmett grabbed Chuck's hands and swung him around like a doll, shaking him, and occasionally raising him above his head and twirling him around helicopter style, like a badly choreographed ice skating routine.

_  
Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I like it that way _

Any man of mine better walk the line  
Better show me a teasin' squeezin' pleasin' kinda time  
I need a man who knows, how the story goes  
He's gotta be a heartbeatin' fine treatin'  
Breathtakin' earthquakin' kind  
Any man of mine

You gotta shimmy shake  
Make the earth quake  
Kick, turn, stomp, stomp, then you jump  
Heel to toe, Do Si Do  
'Til your boots wanna break  
"Til your feet and your back ache  
Keep it movin' 'til you just can't take anymore  
Come on everybody on the floor  
A-one two, a-three four  
Hup two, hum  
If you wanna be a man of mine, that's right  
This is what a Emmett wants... 

Emmett tied him up in the boa, and left him with a wink, and a few slaps in the butt. When Chuck tried to slap Emmett back, he ran (human-speed) to his favorite place…the monorail.

"Emmett, I- I- can't believe you did that!"

"Alice dared me too…I am so creeped out, I think I may need YEARS! Of therapy to fix this moment."

"Just dare someone already!"

"Keep your shirt on Eddie, but you would be too much of a prude to take it off. Soo, uhm, Jasper? Truth or Dare?"

"What do you think Emmett?"

"Perfect…"

We entered the monorail car…and sat down. Emmett looked deep in thought when he said

"You know guys, I never did get to break in that toilet, I think I may need to make it one of my long term project…"

"Emmett, do us a favor and never talk about long term projects and toilets in the same sentence"

**Review please! (I wonder, will I ever learn to write…okay, that's a lie, this is one of the few chappie's i like.)**

**Really, you guys have been kinda slacking in the reviews department……**

**Remember : Help the Hungry! Freerice . com ! (but without the spaces!)**


	8. Hiatus, Sorry

**I have decided…after a lot of internal deliberation, that I am going to put this story on a hiatus. If you don't know what that is, it basically means I am taking a break from writing this story. I am not sure how long it will be, but nothing longer than two week, hopefully. **

**I am not quitting, or ending it just taking a little break. I am terribly sorry, but my writing is starting to suck, and I think its because I am getting a little bored of this story at the moment. I will keep writing over then next…two weeks? But I am soooooooooooooo sorry for doing this to you guys. But my good, amazing, awesome friend minnymay said (and I think you all would agree) that she would rather wait to read something good, instead of reading crap everyday. **

**Again, sorry. Ideas for dares for Carlisle would definitely help me out! And then ideas for Edward will also help me out of my downward spiral...**

**-Melissa**

**Remember freerice . com! The hungry need your help!**


	9. Chapter 7

**This is still the sequel to Anything is Possible in the Mall**. The great, almighty Stpehenie Meyer owns these awesome 'characters' (loose term). Sorry for any mistakes…hey, we're human (well, most of us) and we all make mistakes. Just in case you want to know, I write in words like 'wanna', and 'yah', because I am writing how I think Alice would think, and how her family would talk. 

**Thanks so much you guys for sticking with me through my bad 'i-suck-at-writing' phase. I hope i can make it up to you! I am just glad you dont hate me enough to keep reading after my little 'hiatus'. Sorry again!**

**This one is for Jack C, David M, and Regan, who have all helped me with this chapter. Jack, who said most of the things Obnoxious Man said, David, who unknowingly acted out all those things for me to model OM off of, and Regan, who was with me the whole time laughing our butts off.**

**&& for Flufferbunny37 who reviewed every single chapter in a matter of...what, 20 minutes? you rock!**

**"What do you think Emmett?"**

**"Perfect…"**

APOV 

I hope Emmett wont be too mean to Jasper…awe, who am I kidding, this is Emmett I'm talking about.

We were still sitting in that monorail car, Edward and Emmett and Jasper and Bella were arguing on "what were appropriate things to have as long term projects". I think I was the only one who noticed that Carlisle and Esme, along with Rosalie, were missing. It was the imbecile triplets plus Bella and I, alone, in a small, cramped monorail car. Isn't life great?

"So Jazzy, we have to make a quick pit stop- "

"Emmett! We are NOT stopping for anymore bathroom breaks! Three times in the last five minutes is ENOUGH!"

"No, it's not a bathroom break this time! I need to get a… 'prop' for Jasper's dare"

"Uhh, Fine." The monorail pulled to a stop in Epcot…and right outside the door were Carlisle and Esme, in a certain

'embrace' that kids should never ever see their parents in…ever!

"Ohh, uhm, Hi guys! Did you …miss us?" Esme had on a sheepish grin, like a kid getting caught taking his eighth or ninth cookie from the cookie jar.

"Oh, no…I didn't notice you were gone…"

"Great then! How, did you…dare go Emmett?" Carlisle was totally oblivious to my sarcastic edge as we stepped out of the monorail, and Emmett fake teared at leaving his sanctuary.

"Emmett, stop acting like you are on a bad soap opera!"

"You're just mad you didn't get casted!"

"Emmett, there is no soap opera!"

"Sure Jazz…keep telling yourself that… make it so your feelings don't get hurt…"

"God Emmett, sometimes you truly amaze me"

"I know, that's why I am the main character in that soap opera you were so jealous of"

"…"

"Guys! Will you please stop, come one! Emmett, you haven't even given Jasper his dare! Can we please move on! I

want to get to my turn!! SERIOUSLY, COME OOOOOONNNNNNN!"

"Carlisle, please! And I mean PLEASE! Don't ever use that unearthly high-pitched tone again…It was a little scary…"

"OKAY! Emmett, my dare?"

"Just wait one minute!" Emmett ran into an old colonial looking store, and ran back fifteen seconds later with a bag he handed to Jasper. "Jazzykinz, you have to go around wearing this, and cheering for everything that goes on around you! But, make it really, really girly. I know you can…I saw that time, well those times, when you and Alice went to the mall and you returned a little less manly"

"Emmett, you expect me to actually open this?" He looked at the bag, which was in a huge knot.

"Jasper…Vampire strength ring a bell?"

"Oh, yah, duh!" Jasper ripped the bag open and pulled out a war like uniform…a Yankee uniform. "Emmett McCarty Cullen, you honestly expect me to where this? I mean, It's…it's an insult to me and all my confederate brothers!"

"Check the bag Jasper, there is more!" Jasper looked in the bag, and what he pulled out gave him an expression of pure terror. Pom Poms with mini union flags on the stings…and Jazz wasn't twitching yet, this was a good sign.

"Emmett, I…you…we…you can't do this to me! What would my fellow soldiers say? They…is…It would be treason!"

"Jasper, just do it, you know you want to get your skinny little but into that skinny little outfit."

"Emmett, you are-"

"JUST DO IT JASPER!"

"Fine…" Jasper went into the same store a man, and cam out a…sad excuse for a cheerleader. He was holding the pom poms limply at his sides.

"Perk up Jazz!"

"I HATE YOU EMMETT" Jasper was walking away while giving Emmett a not-so-nice hand gesture.

Jasper was passing some people when he broke out into cheer.

"U-G-L-Y! You ain't got no alibi! YOU UGLY!, yah, yah You ugly!" Now, this would have been a little less demeaning if Jasper didn't do cartwheels, kick his leg up higher then ever though possible, and end in a split.

This was, wow…Jasper may need some therapy, scratch that, LOTS of therapy after this. Just then he passed a kid (all of us were following him in a weird, stalking way) who had fallen down and gotten dirty.

"CHINESE" He pulled his eye corners up. "JAPANESE" He pulled the corners down. "HERCULES!" He made the 'flexi-muscle' move "DIRTY KNEES" he put his hands on his knees and squatted. "LOOK AT THESE!" He then put his hands over his non-existent chest. (I'm part Asian, don't be offended by the cheer) 

They kid ran away screaming and crying, obviously scared by Jazz, who turned to us.

"Guys, I- I- Well, this surely explains why you made me shave my legs before we left honey."

"Jazz, YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYONE!"

He was walking backwards, not paying attention, when he bumped into an orange and blue sweatsuit clad tiny man with letters on his chest. Obnoxious Man. (this time, he isn't in his super hero suit, but in regular clothes.) 

"Did somebody or-" He looked down, and changed his stance. He was faced toward us, but now he was sideways.

"Did somebody order a hero?" As he said 'a hero' he turned his head toward us and moved his eyebrows up and down, repeatedly.

"uhm, no"

"Are you sure" he turned his away "no one ordered a hero?" He turned his head back, and did the same thing he did before.

"Kid, stop!"

"You wanna fight?"

"YAH! You wanna go tiny man?" I was worried, Jazzy could kill this kid with a flick of his wrist…why was he doing this?

"OH, Well then" He grabbed his clothes and pulled, I'm guessing he was planning on revealing his super suit, but then he looked down. "OH! DANG! I haven't thought it through this far!" He tried to cover what little he could of his exposed body, he 'accidentally' forgot the super suit today. He ran behind the nearest tree and leaned his head from behind it, so he was looking at us all.

"I will find someone to fight you!" He ran away, fighting to keep up his orange and blue boxer shorts.

"Give me a C, give me an A, give me an R, give me an L, give me and I, give me an- OH, you get the point…Carlisle, are you up for this?"

"I don't have a choice, do I?"

"Not really."

"Great."

Review please! I know this chapter was kind of a let down from the last one…but still, please? 

Remember : Help the Hungry! 


	10. Chapter 8

**This is still the sequel to ****Anything is Possible in the Mall****. And I still don't own anything, unless you count Obnoxious Man, Chuck, and Gertrude's Daughter…but why would I want to own them anyway?**

**PS The roller coaster in this chapter is probably fake…I couldn't remember a real one in Disney so I made one up!**

**And can any one answer this question? I am honestly curious! Why, in every fanfic that there has a shower scene, that they always say how the water relaxed Bella/ect. Muscles. I mean, I know that it happens, but what ever happened to "I took a shower and got dressed." Now it's all, "I love the shower, the scorching water relaxes my tense muscles. The perfect end to my perfect day." ****I know that most people write theses parts really well, But I was just wondering….**

**Okay, I just wanted to say: I am a little dissapointed in the reviewing that has been going on. Are you guys trying to punish me for that hiatus. Because I am sorry, but not reviewing hurt a little...**

"_I don't have a choice, do I?"_

"_Not really"_

"_Great"_

**APOV**

Rosalie had still not returned from her 'Emmett doesn't like cars' depression. And Bella and Edward and Esme looked really bored. Carlisle was so nervous he started twitching, I mean your eye, your arm, and your left leg should not be moving in unison like that.

"So Carli…have you ever heard of…the Rockin' Roller?"

"The what-ity what?"

"The Rockin' Roller, the tallest Roller coaster here!"

"Oh, W-w-w-what about it J-Jasper?" Carlisle was starting to sweat here, we all knew he was afraid of coasters. And Emmett slowly pouring some pedestrian water on his head was making him look like he really was sweating.

"Well, I dare you to go ride to the top-"

"That doesn't seem like a very good dare Jasper."

"I know Emmett, that's why I wasn't finished. Anyway, I dare you to ride to the top, then get out of the coaster and start to dance & sing to the macarana!" **(I probably spelt it wrong, but the dance thing that everyone does at parties and stuff…) **

"Jasper! Are you possessed? What on earth would make you think I would do that?"

"Because I am daring you to. Duh. Why else, its not like we can get you dru- " An evil grin spread over my husbands face. "Emmett, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"No Jaspers, Eddie's the mind reader, remember?"

"No you idiot, Just come with me!" And with that they left. So from the original eight, we were left with five. Rosalie and her King Arthur self were still no where to be seen.

After waiting what seemed forever, Emmett and Jasper were back with…why the heck would they need tequila shots?

"Here dad, take this."

"Jasper, I know what it is and I am not going to take it."

"Look…Pamela Anderson!" Carlisle looked away, and Jasper shoved three or four shot glasses into his mouth. Esme slapped him once he realized that there never was Pamela Anderson. He crunched down, ingesting the glass and all.

"More Jazzy-poo, MORE!" Wow, it sure didn't take a lot to get my Dad drunk. No one in their right mind would call Jasper Jazzy-poo.

After a few more eaten shot glasses, Carlisle was ready to start his dare. Esme reluctantly 'borrowed' a stereo so Carlisle wouldn't have to remember the word by heart, even though I am pretty sure he did.

We got in the back of the line. And I looked toward Jasper, being my husband, he knew exactly what that look meant. He was to dazzle his way to the front of the line so we could 'join him'.

It worked, sorta. Apparently, the kinds of people who go on this ride are teenagers. Lovesturck hormonal teenage girls with not so happy boyfriends. On the way to the front Jasper must have gotten at least three slaps in the but and one bra with a phone number stuck to it? The girl's boyfriend wasn't very happy, but when he realized that Jasper was at least 7 inches taller than him, he backed away like a dog between his knees.

Toward the front of the line, there was a bunch of old people…lots of old people. Old, elderly, craving excitement, old people. Old people that wouldn't move out of the way for a very handsome husband of mine. Well, one lady moved…and gave Jazz a pinch in a not so public spot. She reminded me of someone….

So we were all close to the front now, dragging a not so sober Carlisle behind us. We handed him the boom box as we got up on the platform to load the roller coaster. The attendant looked at Emmett, drooled a little, and then snapped back to reality.

"Uhm , I am sorry…sir, but I think I am going to have to ask you to please step onto the scale." Emmett raised his eyebrows, obviously offended. He bent over to look at her nametag.

"Uhm, I too am sorry…Regan? But I don't think I want to step on said scale." He was really laying it on thick. Did he think this girl was going to live after this? I mean, she might need years upon years on therapy after her 'dazzlement'. I feel real bad for this girl.

"uhh-uhh, uhh, I am really sorry, but it's the policy. We are not allowed to have anyone over three hundred pounds on the ride."

"Three hundred pound? Do I look like I weigh three hundred pound to you?" Emmett faked the hurt tone he was over using.

"Uhm, muscle weighs more than fat? You still have to step on it." Emmett did so, and smiled because the scale read 250 lb.

"Emmett, you need to put both feet on the scale for it to work right."

"Edward, I hate you right now."

"That's okay, I love yah too brother!" Emmett stepped both feet on the scale and well, the thing kinda cracked when it went past 500 pounds.

"UH" Emmett smiled sheepishly.

"I am terribly sorry, but you cant ride this coaster, I don't think you can ride anything, It's a safety hazard." We all got into the car, leaving Emmett pouting and behind. While we were starting along the track, Regan moved closer, ever so slowly closer to Emmett, who tried to back away and cracked the…well it didn't look much like a scale after Emmett cracked it into a million tiny pieces.

Up, up, it seemed forever until we reached to top. At a flat spot, Jasper grabbed and pushed Carlisle out of the cart, gathering gasps from the other patrons here.

We kept passing him, so Jasper threw the boom box at Carlisle, which accidentally hit him off the side of the head.

In no time at all we were back where we started, the ride over. Carlisle was still there, and Regan was getting cozy with Emmett. Emmett was flirting back, maybe trying to get her to let him go on the ride.

All of a sudden, a little kid yelled "OH NO! A MAN! HE IS STUCK UP THERE!"

Carlisle was bent over, fiddling with the boom box, trying to get it to turn on. The next thing you know, all you can here is "Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena !Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena !Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena! Ehhhh, Macarena" at full blast.

DANGGGG! What kind of boom box did we get? Was this thing designed by NASA or something? It was loud! Almost simultaneously Carlisle started shaking his hips and flailing his arms in the air. Drunken vampires don't dance well at all!

He kept going even though he began stumbling. He was almost done with one rotation of the dance, when he began to jump to turn to his right, and fell, holding on to the roller coaster by one hand. If he fell, he would be okay, but our secret would definitely be blown. Hopefully he could think clearly enough to see that.

He pulled himself up and started dancing again! By now, Regan, the attendant had called for paramedics and security, and a few news vans showed up. I briefly heard one reporter saying "Here, at the Happiest Place on Earth, a man, whose identity is yet to be discovered, is what appears to be dancing, but could be performing, what has been called an ancient ritual to awaken the dead ancestors of us Floridians."

Wow, they were off. If only they knew he was drunk and carrying out a dare from his vampire children.

All of a sudden a bunch of microphones were being shoved in our faces. Emmett was attacked first, but refused to say anything. We were all backing toward each other, when we formed a group, and the reporters decided to ask questions at once.

"Who are you?"

"Do you know the man at the top of the coaster?"

"Is there a reasoning behind his acts of stupidity?"

"Why are you so pretty?"

"Will you go out with me?"

Emmett, thinking he was the man in charge, pushed us all to the back with a little more force than necessary, and "took the lead, as a hunky man such as himself should for his family."

"Listen People of Florida! It is I, the amazing Emmett who shall meet your information-deprived needs!" He said this in that kind of fake announcer voice that you here on cartoons all the time, when the introduce the hero, or report the news. **(spongebob squarepants…)**

"UH, Why do we car- "

"NO INTERRUPTIONS! Now, I, the amazing Emmett, Shall tell you all you need to know. We are innocent bystanders, and though we make look related, we do NOT know the crazy loon ontopofhtecoaster!" He said the last bit in a hurry and then ran. We ran after him, not wanting to be left alone with a bunch of reporters…

He hid behind a tree resembling the one Obnoxious Man hid behind and then decided to point to Carlisle and have us watch. Apparently they were going to get Carlisle down by using a helicopter. The had a hook of some sort attached to him and were dragging him along like a work on a fishing hook.

After twenty minutes, they were safely on the ground. Reporters swarmed Carlisle. I could briefly here

"Who are you?"

"I am…Monty…Chubby CHEEKS!" He put his hands up to his face and smushed his cheeks together, sticking out his tongue and drooling a bit more than necessary.

"Mr.…Monty Chubbycheeks, What were you doing up there?"

"I was dancing the freakin MACARANA! What did you think I was doing?"

"Uhm…"

I decided to get Carlisle out of there. I had Emmett create a diversion by dancing the can can **(spelling? O well)** so Jasper could grab Carlisle and steel him away from the limelight.

"ThanksguysIwasstartingtothinkyouabandonedme!" Carlisle was obviously still drunk. So much for father figure…

We slowly sneaked away, though we could here the reporters finishing their newscasts:

"And so the Mr. Chubbycheeks has left the building! Er- the park? We are not sure of Monty's exact location…it seems he has scurried off to somewhere…"

Scurried? Did he resemble a squirrel or something? Carlisle turned to Edward, a little more sober than a few seconds ago and said

"Truth or Darey Sonny?" Wow, we need to get this guy back too normal…it was starting to scare me!

**Chances are vamps can't get drunk, but we are just going to overlook that fact for now…**

**Remember: freerice . com (without the spaces) **

**17 reviews! ****I think my guideline for reviews shall be at seventeen. So yah, its not a permanent number, just a guideline. So review! 17 happens to be my favorite number && Edward's age! Isn't that a freaky coincidence?**

**Okya, I personally liked this chapter..but that just my opinion. Do you agree?**


	11. Chapter 9

**This is still the sequel to ****Anything is Possible in the Mall****. And I still don't own anything of importance.**

**Now, for the 'events' in this chapter, I need your feedback. Should they stay or should they go? What should happen? You will understand once you read…**

"_Truth or Darey Sonny!?"_

**APOV**

If I thought I was scared, well, then Edward was mortified! Who wants to have the power of your actions be in the hands of a drunken vampire?

"So Eddie-poo, what am I to do with you…" He tapped his chin, and started to rub it and close his eye, like Mr. Leblanc, I mean, an evil genius.

"Any ideas Emmett?" He looked up, startled.

"Wha-?"

"Emmett, any ideas on how to publicly humiliate Edward so that he cannot possibly return to Disney until every tourist here is dead?"

"Sorry Dad, I- I just miss Rosalie!"

"AWWWW!"

"Shut up Esme! But I do, I mean, its _Alice's_ fault she's gone in the first place!"

"Nu-uh! If you had just told her…"

We were fighting for what seemed like forever, when we jerked our head around, all of us smelling it, except for Bella who didn't want to be left out.

"Anyone looking for me?" Emmett ran toward his wife, took her up in a ginormous hug and twirled her around.

"AWWWW!"

"SHUT UP ESME!" He hugged Rose once more, than sniffed her in an over-dramatic fashion. "Hun, Is there a reason you smell like a skunk?"

"Not a skunk, a do-" I was cut off by Rosalie.

"Emmie, I was kinda followed back to you. I would have been back earlier, but I was trying to loose 'em. I still haven't succeeded."

"Who?" Just then, Rosalie didn't have time to respond, because six abnormally large and tanned figures stepped toward us.

"Dog?" Edward was definitely not happy about this, but then, who was? The last thing we needed was a war on Bella's first vacation to Disney World.

"Yah, well, Seth…uhm" I am guessing that Jacob finished his sentence in his head, for Edward nodded.

I am guessing that meant that Seth was 'attracted' to Rose and well, stalked her…o well, there was bound to be some disadvantages to being that pretty.

"So…now that you're here…. Can we get on with the game? I mean, Rose, babe, you missed Carlisle on top of the-"

"What game? It's…Emmett, right?"

"And you're feather pen?"

"Haha, you think you're funny, its Quil. This is Embry and –"

"Guys, we know your names, I was just messin' with yah."

"But you never answered, What game?"

"Oh, uhm," I looked around to my family. _Should I tell them, Eddie? Or should we just make them go?_

I got two simultaneous visions, the first of us on our own, but depressed and the second, we were pointing at somehting, but then the vision dissapeared. I guess I got my answer!

"Earth to crazy girl who sees things" The oldest…sam? He was waving his hand in front of my face and trying to get my attention. "What GAME?" He said it as if he were talking to a small child.

"We were playing a little game of truth or dare?" Jacob's eyes went wide and Quil and Embry started to giggle. _Again with the girlish giggles…._

Edward laughed too, but I wasn't sure if it was at my thought or at The "packs's". I am guessing it was them, but who am I to know? I'm not the mind reader, that's Eddie-poo's job.

"Uhm, g-guys? C-can we n-not play t-tr-truth or dare? Bad memories…scarred for life." Jacob was really upset over this one…what I would give to know what happened.

"Can we do something else instead?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"How about we…"

* * *

**What should I do with the pack…? Thoughts to ponder while you wait for me to update…**

**& Sorry Eddie didn't get dared to do anything! && I know that Jacob has 'left' but in this story, we shall pretend that fact hasn't occurred yet. &&& Sorry this one was rediculously (spelling? sorry) short!**

**Remember: freerice. com (without the spaces) **

**17 reviews! You know you guys...I love yah. Well the ones who review. Are you aware that I have lost about ten reviews a chapter, and the number I am getting is slowly declining? If no one cares, tell me (nicely please) and I shall stop bothering you with my randomess I call chapters for a while.**


	12. Chapter 10

**This is still the sequel to ****Anything is Possible in the Mall****. And I still don't own anything of importance.**

**Okay, this is …well, I was definitely confused for this chapter. I may rewrite it because it is bound to suck.**

"_How about we…"_

**APOV**

"How about we…we play spin the bottle!"

"You're kidding me right?"

"No...why are you chicken?"

"Jacob, there are only four girls, who are all happily married slash engaged. And then there are ten guys, who five of are happily married. Think about it…"

"Fine then, uhm…" What shall we do? I had the feeling that anyone of those quilete guys would end up being a big disaster. "WE SHOULD PLAY THE HUG CONTEST!"

Quil and Embry took him back while they whispered.

"Dude, Jake, what are you smokin'?"

"And do yah got anymore?"

"Shut up Em, but really, they are VAMPIRES! They are supposed to look inhumanly beautiful, you know they will win."

"Yah, but we're smexy natives?"

"Did you just say smexy? MAN! That's totally a chick word! You can't use a chick word! I can't believe you just used a chick word!"

"It's not a 'chick word'" Pshh: air quotes do not work for Jacob Black.

"Yes it is!"

"No it isn't!"

"Yes it is!"

"No it isn't!" I couldn't take this!

"GUYS! We can here everything you say."

"Oh, Yah." They looked around, at a loss for words. Then, I had a thought. Why don't we just add them to the game, I know Carlisle will enjoy other people to pick on that he wont have to deal with later. At least the Quiletes wont burn his study down…not that me and Edward had anything planned or anything….

I was about to express my suggestion when Emmett beat me to it.

"Why don't we play Prank Circle!" Emmett raised his eyebrows, and raised his hand into the air to show his over dramatic display of excitement.

"Joke Square? What the heck are you talking about Emmett?"

"No Jasper, prank circle! Everyone gets in a circle, one person does eeny-meenie-mo or whatever, they leave the room and they are the pranker. Then everyone runs around like idiots screaming or whatever and then the prank is pulled during that time." **(you know you all are jealous of my bud sistergrimm2. Thanks again!)**

"Emmett, I still don't get it. Why don't we try something simpler…or something that most people have ever heard of…"

"Don't hate the player Jazz, hate the game…"

"I do hate the game. That's why I want to play something else!"

"Oh, Duh! I - I ...I-"

"Yah Emmie, 'oh duh'." I would like to say that air quotes work for my husband, but if I did, I would be lying.

"Guys, how about we just get on with the game?" They contemplated my idea…some –cough- Emmett –cough- took longer than others, but most agreed in the end. The only one who was dissatisfied was Edward, and he said he would only play as if he had 'already done' his dare.

Now, It didn't take physic to see who he wanted to humiliate. Even with Bella there to disapprove, Edward could not pass up a chance to un-man-ify Jacob Black.

"So…pup? What'll it be? Truth or dare?"

"Uhm, I would have to say…dare. Does that sound good to you bloodsucker?"

"Perfection."

"Glad you like it."

"So what shall I have you do…" He rubbed his chin repeatedly, and then stroked his invisible evil mustache. "I know exactly. Jacob -."

**Remember: freerice. com (without the spaces) Help The Hungry people of the world!**

**17 reviews! **

**PS Does anyone officially know what happened to the story: He's With Me, by AllforFangs?**

**And sorry for another short chapter…I enjoyed the reviews for the last one, but I feel a little guilty. I kinda feel like I forced you into reviewing by saying I would end the story. Just so you know, I wasn't planning on quitting, just cutting it short. But, from all the reviews…I guess you guys liked it and want me to continue. Thanks again.**


	13. THE END, AN, SORRY!

**Okay, I am going to tell you straight out. My life sucks. My mother is always mad (at me), which basically translates to I cannot go on the computer without getting her more mad, so I have no idea how I am going to be able to update regularly. I would try but, I know I just can't. I don't really know how to end the story, it sucks too much already.**

**Also, I am running out of creative juices. Sorry, I know my writing sucks. And you are probably all mad at me for just ending this. But, honestly, my writing sucks, I am always too depressed to write anything funny (thanks mom), and I don't think I can honestly do this for much longer. If you want to finish writing it for me, that's awesome, but I don't think you guys would like me to keep up this crap. If you guys really hate me for it, I may write more…but probably not. Sorry again.**

**Remember: freerice. com (without the spaces) Help The Hungry people of the world!**

**You don't have to review. If I was you, I wouldn't review either. **

**PS: Check out my oneshot: Coma. I personally like it. Its different than my usual writing, but still good in my opinion. Especially if you want something to read wile fuming away your anger at me.**

**Summary: **

Bella suddenly wakes up only to find…what? She's been where for the past three years? And Edward…he's…he's…?

**And check out my other one( ) shot: The Band.**

**Summary:**

When Mike picks up a flyer sitting on the counter of his store, he has no idea as to what happens next. Trying out for the band seems great, that is until he finds out whose band he's actually trying out for…

**MY WRITING SHOULD BE BURNED, AND DON'T TRY TO TELL ME I AM WRONG. BECAUSE I KNOW IT STINKS. AND IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TAKE OVER THE STORY, PM OR REVIEW AND I WILL SEND YOU WHAT I TRIED TO WRITE. SORRY ONCE AGAIN.! BUT MY FAMILY LIFE SUCKS TO MUCH FOR ME TO HONESTLY WRITE ANYTHING OF DECENCY.**


	14. Chapter 11 The End, for real

**This is still the sequel to ****Anything is Possible in the Mall****. And I still don't own anything of importance.**

**You guys deserve an ending, no matter how bad it is. Once again, I am terribly sorry. **

"_So, What shall I have you do..? I know exactly. Jacob-" _

**APOV**

"Jacob-"

"Wait!"

"What is it Alice, I was just about to-"

"Really, before you do, why don't we add just one more rule? Can we do a pairs thing…seeing as there are so many of us, it may make it easier."

"I…Uh…we…" everybody else looked sheepish, and Eddie knew they were going to agree with me. "DANG!" I guess he was just depressed about not being able to humiliate Jacob alone. "Fine…we can all pick partners…" he grumbled incoherently about things under his breath.

Jacob looked around…and then ran and yelled "I CALL EMBRY!!!!" Then and there…Quil looked like he was about to cry.

"Dude…man…what about me?" Jacob looked guilty, like a kid caught stealing from a bank, er, I mean cookie jar.

After a few tears, three or four man hugs and butt bumps, we were finally ready to start. Edward looked like he was going to burst. I figured we better start soon or I would be washing Edward guts out of my hair for days.

His left eye was started to twitch and I was worried he would end up like Carlisle. So I nodded for him to start.

He cleared his throat and then started "Okay, Jacob and…Embry? You have to go around and eat someone."

"Eat someone? You have got to be kidding, man. You know we don't eat people, that's what you leeches do." Jacob was mad; he didn't like Edward unorthodox choice of a dare.

"Jacob! I am HURT!" Edward put his hand to his chest and leaned away, pretending his ego was wounded. "But, you wont just be going as yourselves, but I do think you might scare quite a few people if you do, You have to go around as Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf."

Embry was a little scared, so he stuttered when he said "Dude, you know those are from two different stories, right?"

"I know. But good luck choosing who gets to be which one." The dogs just looked at each other, trying to come up with something. The eventually settled on an arm-wrestle, but while they were doing it, Edward paid Seth fifty bucks to tickle Jacob and make him lose.

Basically, Jacob's color is not red. And she should never been seen in a revealing costume like that ever again. Edward couldn't find a kids costume store, but managed to find one at Pleasure Island. And he came back with a…well, calling it a costume would really be a lie considering that there wasn't to much fabric (definitely not enough for our liking) to save up from years upon years of therapy and trauma. Fortunately for Embry, Edward found a better wolf costume. It covered more at least. The …it…was just, wow. It was really creepy. **(Picture in my profile :)**

And so they started off. It was really weird, I am not sure what Edward said to them but it made them act like they were high. And Quil got very depressed when he saw this because he knew Jake was smoking something and wouldn't share. _I will never understand this Quiletes…_

So, they were walking down the little alleyway thing, (passing the sword in the stone and some really disturbed men) and came upon an old and elderly man.. Embry got really into it and bit his arm. Jacob was really creeped out, and smacked him off the head. I wasn't there (in mind) to see more.

I immediately got a vision of someone in a hospital, all of a sudden, the heart monitor stopped next to the patient. Who ever it was just died. The next thing that happened was the doctor saying "Charlie…"

IT WAS CHARLIE! CHARLIE DIED! WE HAVE GOT TO BACK TO FORKS!

--

On the plane ride up to Forks I got another vision of Charlie, but he wasn't dead, he was very much alive and he was giving out orders to other officers. This was very peculiar…

--

We were driving home, so very solemn for cutting our vacation short, but even more confused when we saw a little werewolf, Colin? I think that was him. Well, Colin was tied to a tree, and had a huge sign taped across his chest. He was covered in makeup, for some odd reason. Why would he be tortured like that? I took a look at the sign and found my answer.

"_I have been a bad little wolf, I thought about phasing in front of the Chief of Police."

* * *

_

**Sorry, for everything you guys, you have been so nice and great and spectacular and fantastic and amazing. I don't deserve you guys. But you do deserve an ending, and this is what I have come up with. Some of you have read most of it, because I sent it to you, but I added to it, to finish it off. Thanks again. **

**This probably doesn't make any sense, and I know Alice cannot see werewolves, but we are just going to pretend. :) Basically, Colin was going to phase in front of Charlie, killing him, but someone stopped him and tied him to a tree as means of reprimanding him.**

**Again, so sorry words cannot describe it. **

**Melissa ♥**


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